How can I prepare my toddler for a new baby?

A new baby changes family life, and good preparation can help your older child adjust. Heilsuvera says that preparing an older child for a newborn can support a positive experience, better sibling connection and positive behaviour towards the new baby. The amount and timing of information should fit the child's age. Older children can be told earlier, while younger children may be told closer to the birth.

Talking about the baby can make the change easier to understand. You can read books together about getting a sibling and look at photographs of your child as a baby. You can also reassure your child that your feelings for them will not change. The new baby is a baby for the whole family, while your older child remains an important part of the family.

Taking part in preparations can give your child a role. Heilsuvera suggests letting the older child help choose and put out clothes for the baby or help prepare a cradle or bed. The activity does not need to be complicated. The aim is to let the child take part in preparing for the new family member.

Daily changes are easier when they happen early. If your child needs to change rooms or move to a different bed, stop using a dummy or nappy, or learn to eat or dress more independently, Heilsuvera recommends making these changes early in pregnancy. This gives the child time to become familiar with the change without connecting it directly with the baby's arrival.

Children can react differently to the change. Heilsuvera says that older siblings commonly show some developmental regression after a new baby arrives. A child may start using baby talk or ask for a dummy again. This behaviour is usually temporary. A child who attends day care or preschool may show the same behaviour there, and the adults caring for the child can help them work through the changes.

Jealousy can be a normal feeling when a sibling arrives. Heilsuvera recommends helping children talk about feelings such as happiness, sadness and anger, and responding with understanding. Positive guidance is recommended instead of scolding. Avoid comparing the children negatively or treating them differently in ways that could increase conflict or distress.

Individual attention can help your older child adjust. Heilsuvera recommends giving the older child some time alone with either parent to do something they enjoy. When both children need attention at the same time, the newborn can sometimes wait briefly while you attend to the older child. Keeping familiar routines, such as preschool and activities with friends, can also help after the baby comes home.

Your older child can also have a small role with the baby. Heilsuvera suggests simple tasks such as fetching a nappy or dummy, helping with care, comforting the baby or helping show the baby to visitors. Praise your child when they take part positively. You can also help them understand the baby's behaviour by putting simple observations into words, such as explaining that the baby is crying because they need a nappy.

You can ask the heilsugæsla (local health centre) for advice if your child shows distress connected with getting a sibling. Heilsuvera says the health centre can advise about available support and works with other professionals involved in children's care. Pregnancy care is provided by midwives and family doctors at health centres, where parents can also receive support, guidance and information during pregnancy.

There is no single reaction that every toddler will have. Your child may be excited, interested, unsettled or show temporary changes in behaviour. The official Icelandic guidance focuses on preparation, reassurance, familiar routines, positive attention and giving the child space to express feelings.

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Last checked: 2 October 2026