How can we prepare for becoming parents together?

Pregnancy changes life for both of you. Becoming parents means adapting to new emotional, social, financial and physical circumstances over a relatively short time. These changes can affect how you communicate as a couple. Some couples find the changes easier to handle, while others find them more difficult. It is also common to think about how pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding will go.

Your feelings can be mixed. Pregnancy is a happy time for many people, but worries, anxiety, doubts and anticipation can exist alongside happiness. You may wonder whether the timing is right, whether you are ready to become a parent, or how your relationship will change. These thoughts can come up whether the pregnancy was planned or not. Pregnancy and birth can also bring up feelings, hopes or fears that were previously less visible.

Your partner is going through a transition too. The official Icelandic health information says that expecting parents can become more sensitive and experience changes in mood, with these changes more common in the pregnant person. The pregnant person may need extra support, affection and warmth. A partner can also have worries about birth and about how the pregnant person and baby will feel.

Your couple identity may change during pregnancy. Heilsuvera describes pregnancy as a time when couples may turn more of their interests towards the inside of the relationship. This can mean that conversations, plans and attention increasingly centre on the pregnancy and the family you are becoming. It does not mean that every couple will experience the change in the same way.

There is no single emotional pattern to follow. Each parent experiences pregnancy, birth and becoming a parent in their own way. Some people feel mostly anticipation and happiness. Others have periods of worry, doubt or anxiety. You do not need to feel only positive emotions for your pregnancy to be going well. What matters is noticing how you are feeling and making space to talk about it.

Talking together can help you understand what each of you is expecting. Talk about how you are feeling, what you hope for, and what concerns you. Make room for different reactions. Heilsuvera specifically recommends that expecting parents talk together about their feelings, expectations and wishes. If talking with your partner does not feel right, or your partner is not available, you can also discuss your feelings with a midwife during pregnancy care.

Small practical conversations can protect your relationship. Talk about what support each of you needs, what you are looking forward to, and what feels difficult. You can also talk about the birth and ask questions together during pregnancy care. You do not need to solve every future problem now. The aim is to understand each other and prepare for a period of change.

Stress can also affect how you relate to each other. Heilsuvera recommends recognising what is causing stress, prioritising tasks, reconsidering demands, allowing yourself to do less, taking breaks and getting enough sleep. Regular movement can also help reduce stress and improve sleep. Letting the people around you know that you are reducing your workload can make it easier to protect your energy.

Ask for professional support when difficult feelings persist. Occasional sadness and changes in mood can be normal during pregnancy. If difficult feelings last for a long time and affect daily life, Heilsuvera advises seeking help from a midwife or doctor. Pregnancy care also provides an opportunity to discuss emotional wellbeing. Screening for depression and anxiety is included in the sixteen-week pregnancy-care visit. If you or your partner has strong worries about birth, pregnancy care is also a place to discuss feelings, wishes and expectations.

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Official sources

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Last checked: 29 September 2026